When Your Life In Pictures Isn’t Your Reality – xoNecole
Love & Relationships

When Your Life In Pictures Isn’t Your Reality

Comments (59)
  1. Haych says:

    Wow… This is so real, the best article I’ve read on this site and it touched me DEEP… Especially the part about no one knows the internal battles you face when a loved one passes away. Allahuma barek laha, God bless you.

  2. Exactly why I don’t over share my relationship, can’t capture my life in a photo

  3. My life is better than my pictures just the way I like it. ❤️

    1. Mine too girl I rarely post anything except travel pics!!

  4. Tanea Lighty says:

    I was exposed to this just yesterday. I followed a couple who seemed perfect on social media but was attending an event they attended and he was attacking and screaming on her crazy. Second hand embarrassment is an understatement, I felt so sad for her.

    1. Brittany Joy says:

      Ditto. I actually know a couple in real life who take the best photos and seem so perfect and they’re everyone’s “goals” but get them in a room together and there is ZERO chemistry. It’s so sad. I don’t think they even look at each other.

    2. Shelly Mac says:

      Same here. I had a friend who looked like the perfect couple on social media. They both were extremely attractive and always doing amazing things together. People literally used to hastag #relationship goals under their pics. However, i knew them personally and knew it was far from the case. They got married and separated 3 months later. You never know what people are going through behind those smiles.

  5. Leah Jeffers says:

    Very real article! I think this is such true also. Social media can be such a deceitful tool that is used to give off the appearance that you really want however I’m finding that it’s not what you think it is a lot of the time!

  6. Very,very true…being in a relationship/marriage ain’t easy at all.

  7. 100%. All then time. Meanwhile he’s cheating and she’s depressed…or vice versa

  8. It concerns me though that a picture is given so many assignations by other people. Sometimes a picture is just a freakin picture.

  9. Karia Bond says:

    Agree 100% no one life is how it looks in pics, that’s just what it is, a picture…stop over analyzing, and wishing and dreaming into someone else’s life..it’s never what it seems…and it’s always far from perfect..

  10. Yes I love this! I can def relate. Pictures are just pictures…this social media thing can be a beast but don’t live your life based on what you perceive #greatread

  11. Precious says:

    Wow this was the most beautifully written article I’ve seen on this site. Poetic and very true words indeed. Thanks for sharing because a lot of people nowadays feel that if it’s not on the ‘gram, it didn’t really happen. People are so attached to the ‘likes’ and retweets that they will miss out on the actual moment just to check their notifications. It’s crazy that people get more gratification out of those ‘likes’ than the special moment itself. ‘Gotta start living for ourselves and less for the validation of others!

    1. Ashley Simpo says:

      Thanks for reading! Agree! Validation from others is fleeting. Holding on to it will lead nowhere.

      ashley simpo

    2. leandra says:

      Honestly, what a great article. Touched me deeply, and I think, if I may speak for the masses, touched everybody else here. So incredibly relevant and truthful to the times we are living in. Keep strong,sisters.

  12. I can’t stress it enough people: Don’t be fake or put pressure on yourself to portray something your’re not. Only post what is true to you and what you are comfortable revealing. Problem solved.

    1. Ashley Sy says:

      Nobody will post their truths online though. Most people only post great things to make their lives seem perfect.

    2. It’s not a bad thing if they don’t post the bad. Just don’t mask it either. When it’s bad, take a step back and work on it.

    3. That’s the best comment I’ve heard thus far bravo 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  13. I share a lot on social media, however I NEVER give my relationship status/info/details nor info/details about any jobs I may or may not have when I work for others.

  14. Abbi says:

    This is a great piece! Believing the “hype” of what people post on sites like Instagram is why I unplug from social media for an extended period of time throughout the year. No matter who you are or what you have going for you, people’s pictures on Instagram have the ability to make you feel like you’re behind in life or missing out.

    I’ll never forget when an acquaintance of mine got engaged 2 years ago and how excited I was for her. The photos that she shared of her relationship were so cute and I remember wanting that too. Then a year later, I noticed that she started to post pictures that hid her hands. Then while perusing through her pictures, I noticed that some of the photos of him & her were removed. By the time Fall rolled around, she made it pretty obvious that her engagement was off for reasons unknown to me. After that, I remember thinking that things are never what they seem; yet periodically, I still fall prey to thinking that people are living a more fulfilling and luxurious life than me based on their social media pictures. Still, like Myleik Teele once said, people are only showing you a highlight reel of their lives on social media.

    1. Ashley Simpo says:

      I feel her pain! It’s a highlight reel for sure!

      ashley simpo

  15. Lisa Jones says:

    Pictures are literally frozen milliseconds. What context could you possibly gather from that to judge someone’s life? I used to say I’m not going to post things I love/care about cause of this concern, now I don’t even care anymore. It’s simply a glimpse into my life. Really wish people remembered that. What are people to do? Scowl in photos?!!

    Humans exhaust me.

  16. Nicole Jones says:

    such a good article…

  17. Enjoyed this article some realness. Never judge a book by the cover.

  18. Alicia Brown says:

    Everybody isn’t who they “post” to be is my motto

    1. Alicia Brown says:

      I agree. And I’ve realized when I don’t have social media apps on my phone I’m a lot less likely to take a bunch of pics

  19. I COMPLETELY agree with this article.
    I can also relate, which is why I sheiks do much of my real life from social media. Life is meant to be lived not just photographed.

  20. Have to say…excellent article, well stated & so true…all these #lovemylife #livingfortheweekend #relationshipgoals #hashtag #this #that…I’m over it! My current # pertains college…& now that I’m rarely on FB…I don’t see a lot of the #fuckery #bullshit!!! Hahahaha

  21. So honest! And the truth for so many. My favorite line: “No one shares pictures of their ugly internal quiet sh*t. Even though every beautiful moment we’ve all ever witnessed was filled to the brim with all the ugly sh*t that made it possible.” Truth!

  22. Good read! I’m always saying this!

  23. T Marie says:

    BRA- freakin’ – VO on this one! Just Bravo.

  24. E says:

    My gf told me about her facebook friend who husband cheated on her and brought home an STD…she hasn’t had sex with him since but post pics of them looking super happy and not even sleeping in the same bed. People out here acting like social media gives out awards for it.

  25. Never compare your life to someone’s highlight reel.

  26. Kindred Kels says:

    Seems like her point was really ‘ not to Envy someone’s highlight reel,” not to deter people from posting pictures of their happiness.

  27. Robin Joelle says:

    Perfect wedding pictures, the baby, the chocolate/white husband, dream vacations….blah blah blah…it’s all fake. Real relationships, marriages take work. They’re not photo ops. I very rarely post pics of my husband and I together unless we are doing something goofy or fun. Totally impromptu. It’s the same thing with these Instagram MUA all face tuned and highlighted to high heaven. I cannot.

  28. Robin Joelle says:

    Several people actually. Especially those who suffer from anxiety/depression. I also know a blogger who discusses it. You’d be surprised how many people follow those kinds posts as a form of therapy. I think this article is more about knowing the difference between the real and the fake and not idolizing a lot of these professional Instagram models and MUA’s. Don’t even get me started on the wedding pages.

  29. Amen especially so call family smile in your face .apicture says thousand words

  30. Must remember a few things before drawing comparisons, and feeling ways while looking at pics. (1) Pictures are moments in time. We usually want to capture the best moments. (2) we all put our best foot forward online. We are seeing the highlights and not the rough drafts and edits

  31. Another reason I hate the #goals hashtag. You have no idea about anyone’s real relationships offline. Set your goals to simply be better tomorrow than today and you can’t lose 🙂

  32. Tara Jo says:

    This is so realistically beautiful. Your main quotes hit it off with reality and your descriptions are so well said. I read so much of it over because it left a feeling of “Finally! Someone understands!” Brought tears to my eyes.

  33. Hakim Thomas says:

    This is a great read. I love it. I believe relationships/marriages are easy to do is however. Yes i might sound like a fairytale, but if two ppl who come together have the idea that their purpose is to enhance the life of the person you got,then being a pain or challenge or being selfish for personal gains will not creep up in their minds. I believe we over complicate things and allow outside influences including social media to dictate how we act and behave in even the simplest of situs. To me when youre honest goes a long way, from the get go be honest with yourself and your partner, (baby i dont function well in stress or baby i like when everything is planned and in order. I like spontaneity in some things. I dont like public display of affection. When i am tired,it doesnt mean i am silent because something is wrong i am just tying to regroup etc ) I could type all scenarios.. There is a time to be serious a time to laugh and have fun. Idk why many believe that a life with misery is normal. I see older ppl who find companionship later in life and they live good with each other..why? Not because they are too old to be shouting down each others throat lol but they know that all that is a waste of time being miserable and stubborn.. It gets you nowhere

  34. Jlewis says:

    I get the point of the article
    But it seems so negative, jaded and bitter.With all theNegative images specifically of black love thrown out into the world I don’t think celebrating it when we see it is a problem or expressing it when you have it. I’d rather ppl be celebrating black love and positive family images then all the other things ie. IG models, drug money pictures and gun pictures etc. The point should simply be don’t compare your lives to others and love yours not sensor you it IG pics because it’s “not real”

  35. Katrina says:

    Ain’t no such thing as a life that’s better than yours… Love yourz.

  36. Dreamy says:

    I think some are missing the point, she’s saying to not compare your life to others and I agree but some people are actually as happy as they look in their pic. Not all married people are miserable lol. Are they supposed to post pics/videos of them arguing about taking out the trash.

  37. Lauren says:

    Someone posted this on IG yesterday “I will not compare my life to strangers on the Internet.”

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