FriendshipGoals: How To Build A Squad of Empowering Friends – xoNecole
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FriendshipGoals: How To Build A Squad of Empowering Friends

Comments (63)
  1. restyledmom says:

    My squad…has to be a mixture of younger than myself, older than myself, single, married, divorced, eclectic, not so far out there, hood, bourgeois, ghettofab. It’s like a stock portfolio; I look to diversify. One thing that’s a must for my squad…acceptance. Accepting that we screw up, accepting that we pray together, accepting that we genuinely celebrate success. I must say, in the years God has blessed me to have, my squad gets better and they make me want to be better.

  2. Hmmm says:

    After reading this I realized I have no friends ..just surrounded amongst ppl

  3. Ashley says:

    I like “Hmmm” realized that I am most definitely friendless. People come to me when they want things done right or stated with sheer honesty and candor. But I have nowhere to go (outside of my husband) to get those very same things. Bummer. Hoping to make some real, quality friends soon.

  4. Empress SC says:

    @Hmmmm…i agree that is my life exactly. I am friendless.

    This article was on point. I was just thinking today as this year 2015 closes that I wish I had some good quality female friends that I could hang with. I never seem to find those amazing female friendships where you can tell your home girl everything. I hope to find quality friends soon and a good man.

  5. Tara says:

    I’ve been getting bad vibes about the people I chose to call a “friend” and after I talked to an elder she said if it doesn’t feel right it ain’t right! My sister bestfriend also told me to watch who I call a friend because females can be secretly jealous. Thank god I’m growing and wanting something more like this.

  6. Alisha says:

    After reading this, I think I have maybe two friends. Something is definitely better than nothing.

  7. Corine says:

    Great article! This is something I crave, genuine friendship and real sisterhood. I do have a few friends that I feel are definitely great people so I’m learning to appreciate those and harvest those relationships more than my “friends” who are dead weight to my life and don’t invest as much time in our relationship than I do. I said to myself just yesterday in 2016 I will be a better friend and have more full relationships. I believe if I put out that type of energy it will come to be 🙂 I also hope for all of you women who feel friendless that you stay positive and radiate that energy to all! You will attract how you feel. Those friendships you wish for in 2016 will come to you. Speak it into existence my queens

  8. Alexa says:

    I’ve just left a couple of “friendships” behind because it wasn’t true. For years I’ve felted the same feelings the author felted in this article. It’s such a refreshing feeling to have a true sisterhood and I’m more then grateful for my two girlfriends.

  9. loveamour. says:

    I relate to this article. Making friends can be tough sometimes. I had some of the same issues growing up. This led me to keep my circle small.

    I like to be friends with people who don’t put other people’s business on the street, who are happy when others succeed and who have compassion for others. My friends also have to accept me for who I am. I should be comfortable being myself around them.

  10. I need friends I feel every women should have girlfriends

  11. Tasha George says:

    Great read! Looks like we all are on point…#no judgment zone #real women empower one another✊

  12. I so needed this!! Thank you ❤️

  13. Nia says:

    This is spot on. I could’ve written this. I have so many takers on my team. They will talk about themselves for hours but as soon as I start…crickets. Also, in starting my business I’ve gotten very little “that a girl” from my closest of friends. It’s quite sad but it is what it is.

    1. Stacey says:

      Aint that the truth, you know you need new friends when you have been listening to their stories for days, weeks and then you say something about yourself and you get a pause or a look like “what, why are you talking about yourself?”.

  14. Great read! Definitely sharing this!!!

  15. It’s so hard building new friendships as a adult women ..

  16. Love this!!! Girl Squad!!! . Love you too!!

  17. I got the best team ever ❤️

  18. Amy Nze says:

    Great read. As most of my friends are in relationships i see we barely hang out or come together. when we do talk it is about gossip or checking in to see how the other’s relationship is going. I need something more fulfilling than “How’s your man doing?” Or “Let me tell u what i saw while spying on so and so on facebook”.

  19. Leah Jeffers says:

    This was excrement and so timely for me. Sometimes I feel like I should have much better friendships at my age. @xonecole.com Andy ideas of how to go about making better more solid friendships after the age of 30?

  20. Ask Quita says:

    Yaaaaaaasss!! Definitely friendship goals for 2016 and beyond!!!

  21. Kesh Button says:

    You do need girlfriends, I don’t like alot…but a few good ones are enough!
    Need honesty, laughter and positivity!

  22. Good Read!!!!!! This is dead on

  23. Love you too Diva! I love it! Girl Squad #empoweringandupliftingoursisters

  24. 2015 was definitely the year to let go of empty friendships. 2016 will be spent creating & maintaining fulfilling ones

  25. I don’t take any of you ladies for granted. #sisterhood

  26. Carolyn Pope says:

    I need a girlfriend squad… Anybody from Cleveland Ohio?.. It is very hard to build good friendships as an adult woman.

  27. Karia Bond says:

    Great article! One of my new year resolutions is to build new solid relationships even as challenging as it may be as an adult! Cheers to us making true friends!

  28. Chelle says:

    I think we all feel or have felt this way. We are females therefore we are sensitive about our relationships.

    I recently had a falling out with a friend that lead me to discover something about myself. I thought I held grudges but through that experience I find that I am really forgiving with the people I love. That doesn’t mean I’m a fool. Friends can fail you but as long as you address the issue and tell that friend how they failed you. Move on. And whether you do what I did; forgive and continue the friendship or if you end it. It says a lot about you as friend as well. My friend failed me and I didn’t feel she had my back at all. And it was something I never expected. But I forgave giving her the chance to be a good friend.

    I’ve learned that forgiveness will gives you power. But it also shed light on the person you are forgiving. Proving how great a friend you are.

  29. Ladybug says:

    It is so good to know that I am not alone with the issue of not having friends. I moved away from home a long time ago and have had a big struggle making quality friends. Back home I still have the same friends but we seldom talk because I have been gone so long. This article helps to pick, choose and identify the right ones.

  30. Terry says:

    I couldn’t even read the entire post … Too many ads, etc. – all that is too much of a distraction for me. Thanks, but no thanks. Just publish information …

  31. Iesha says:

    When it comes to my squad, I like to keep friends around that are just as ambitious as I am. My friends should challenge and motivate me to be better, after all you are the company that you keep.

  32. Cecelia says:

    2016 true friendship goals.

  33. LaTrice says:

    Great article….I learned this as I got older

  34. Shakeyta says:

    I started this movement when things in my life was going nowhere fast and I felt like I had no one… So I stopped reaching out and that lead me to 3 friends and that’s my squad… No we don’t all hang but it works for me… Empowered, brutally honest, and support… Very good read….

  35. roseinweeds says:

    women for women is so extremely vital. or just beautiful and honest hearts. i dont care of its just one…u often times just need that! 🙂

  36. Claudea says:

    By the looks of this thread, there could be a possible squad everyone has a great outlook which is a quality needed in any squad.Lord knows I can use some quality girlfriends.I refuse to put a skirt on my husband.but outside of him in friendless I mean I know good women but I do not feel a bond a sisterhood.I’m sure God will bless with such

  37. LaShanda Woodard says:

    It was a lot to read but well worth it. Truly an eye opener I guess I would say I have maybe two or three true blue friends. I’ve learned along time ago to pick and choice my friends wisely. I for one don’t use that the word friend to offend because every body that hang in your space doesn’t have your best interest. The OJ’s said it best they snile in your face all the while trying to take your place them back stabbers.

  38. KayElle says:

    This was such a great read! I am so thankful that I don’t have”yes” friends but ones who are honest and have my best interest at heart!

  39. Karyn says:

    I woke up years ago. I don’t hate my old friends, I just realized that things were one-sided. I wasn’t being encouraged or supported they ways that I had been there for them. If there was drama or some bizzness, then they would listen. I couldn’t sit their and rant about all of the problems in the world or talk about serious goals. I had a slew of friends stuck on watching The Game and other reality shows that I had zero interest in.

    I never want to be out at every party. I hate always talking about guys who clearly aren’t husband material. I want to experience new sights and try new things.

    I’ve peeped shade where I’ll post pics with new friends and honestly I don’t care. I’ve realized that different friends are for different reasons. My two absolute best friends are who I’m seen out with the least. I have another friend who I travel with. I have another whom I debate with. There are a group of women I turn up with when the occasion is right.

    You’re not awake if you’re shallow enough to believe “no new friends.”

  40. WALTER says:

    Awesome Read, My wife definitely needs a better squad. But at the same time She needs to truly be the leader of her squad. Plus i also like this article because it shows the importance of having strong women, not just in their own group setting but also their importance for everyone as a whole.

  41. Ginga Guice says:

    This so right on time! I have struggled with making and keeping meaningful relationships with other woman my whole life. It was just a few years ago, during a self an analysis I realized I really had no real friends just a plethora of acquaintances. I then stated to pay that God would send me a REAL friend. Someone that was like minded, strong, caring, and simply amazing…and HE did. I now have the most amazing BFF I could’ve ever imagined and I cherish our relationship. It has also taught me how to build more meaningful relationships with other woman in my life. This year I have been given the vision to start a group to connect woman that struggle with this same issue and this article will help me lay the foundation for our meeting. It’s time for woman to unite and EMPOWER each other. Thanks again! !

  42. Ginga Guice says:

    Excuse my typos, I did not proof. #ihateAUTOCORRECT

  43. There are so many people that think they are friends of mine because, being in PR you have the talent of making people trust you and feel close to you. Now, I don’t say this to sound like a shady person, that’s just the nature of the game. In all honesty I have about 3 friends I can count on. It took one very TOXIC relationship for me to realize that I has not been honest with myself, AND that God had already blessed me with my circle of awesome ladies!! Courtney!! Thanks so much for this article, girl there are plenty of young women that needed to hear this.

    Blessings.

  44. Tee says:

    This article took my thoughts and put them into words. Thanks for this. It spoke to me so clearly. Just what I needed to hear/read. 💡

  45. Melz says:

    Great article spot on. I feel like I am friendless as well, i know a lot of great gals but no one is a ride or die. I really miss that kind of friendship and wish i had a great group of girls to talk with, hang with, go to the mall with and have sunday dinner with or just random just because dates. Had some good friendships but i always did more and tried harder and never got much in return although i wasnt looking for anything more than their friendship as the return part. Need a real friend asap. #friendshipgoals *sigh*

  46. Leslie B. says:

    This post definitely hits home for me. For YEARS I was best friends with two women that I just knew would be in my life forever. However, I would take notice that they just weren’t there for me like I was there for them. Not to mention, they were older than me. Yet, instead of setting a great example for me, all they wanted was to be hoes and party (No exaggeration). Well, needless to say I don’t associate with them anymore. Now I have women in my life that I know are here for the long haul. Our friendship is reciprocated. I know that I truly can depend on them for support in all forms. We encourage each other for greatness and it’s a great feeling! It’s just like being in a relationship. You have to let go of the toxic to find the person(s) meant for you!

  47. Lisa says:

    This felt good to read. I have been experiencing sort of a friendship revelation. My “squad goals” are so different now that I am 35 versus when I was 25. Life, kids, relationships have all influenced things. I used to think I had to be surrounded by a constant circle, but now I realize that my most fulfilling relationships are with those who understand space and quality time. If feels great to have let go of the toxic people that drained me, although it hurt to lose some. This was an awesome written piece….

  48. Anya Michelle says:

    It’s simple
    Like 95 percent of my friends are guys 0_o
    Actually, I dunno why that is, really, but its cool by me lol, So it means I have NO bitchy “friends”, no behind-ur-back shade, no frenemy drama ish, NOthing!

    Im jus sayin, that ish works
    But you might wanna learn what a first down is, and scrimmage, and first string, and second string, and Peyton Manning… hahaha it’s very handy!

    But really, NObody needs “friends” that jus draaaain you, in this life. You dont need ANYbody like that, even if they’re “family”; no.

  49. LoudestWhisper19 says:

    It so funny because as an adult I find myself thinking about my falling “soldiers” and I do miss aspects of their friendships but its real when you finally realize that they were just not right or healthy for you and what you are trying to achieve. Now a days I smile at the girls that I am honored to call friends and I love it even more when we have girl talk or just some good positive motivational talks. It’s really nice to have a place to vent, encouragement, and to get a good laugh in. Real recognizes real.

  50. mrscharmain says:

    Wow! Good read. Sad to hear about all the ladies not having a good circle..I pray things get better…Im blessed to have good genuine friends!

  51. NiceNiNi says:

    I am so glad that I do not have any “yes” friends anymore! I always pray for my good good girlfriends to be successful! I love to see them shining bright like a diamond! I have so many wounds from being stabbed in the back my many whom I thought were my friends. Thank God I am humble now and 10 real friends are better than having 30 fake ones! Friendship should not ever be questionable!
    Great article!!

  52. Anika says:

    Social Media has make it very difficult for people to connect in real life. There is more to friendship than double tapping/liking/commenting on peoples posts and assuming everything is alright with the in real life. It would be wonderful to have friends like the ones described in your article. Hoping to find some like this in the Toronto Area!

  53. 4thewire says:

    GREAT AND TRUTHFUL ARTICLE (HOWEVER I DO NOT LOOK FOR UNICORNS). I GUESS ITS A SIGN OF THE TIMES WE LIVE IN NOW. I’M HAPPY I’M SELF CONTAINED/DRAMA FREE & HAPPY.
    I DON’T WORRY ABOUT MUCH I JUST PLAN A WHOLE LOT.
    NO FRIENDS HAS CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER
    IF I EVER FORGET IT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS GREAT COMPONENTS THAT LET YOU KNOW IMMEDIATELY YOU MADE THE BEST CHOICE :0
    #GOODLUCKTOALLTHEGREATFREINDSOUTTHERE

  54. 4thewire says:

    AS FAR AS SOLANGE GOES WHERE THESE HER FRENZ FROM SHE WAS 5 & 6 YRS OLD?
    HER FAMILY HAS HAD LIMELIGHT FOR A SPELL SO…….

    ITS LIKE BEING FRENZ WITH OPRAH WAS IT B4 HER BEING OPRAH (GAIL) OF AFTER LIKE STEDMAN EEEHHHHH.
    #REALFRENZ

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